


meteoric

by forgotthemilk



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Rebuild of Evangelion | Evangelion: New Theatrical Edition
Genre: Fluff and Smut, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut, downright excessive amounts of consent, if you like consent kaworu's gotcha covered
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:28:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22384891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forgotthemilk/pseuds/forgotthemilk
Summary: Steeling himself, Shinji blurted out, “Can I walk you to your room? It wouldn’t… It wouldn’t be a very good date otherwise.”--Smut set in the middle of 3.0.
Relationships: Ikari Shinji/Nagisa Kaworu
Comments: 23
Kudos: 471





	meteoric

**Author's Note:**

> This has been a WIP on my phone for ages, but I just rewatched the Rebuilds this week and was inspired to finish it.
> 
> Once again, I finished this to procrastinate writing the "hear it from your mouth" sequel. I'm working on it ;)
> 
> Thanks for reading!

For once, Shinji was grateful that parts of NERV HQ were so thoroughly broken down. When he looked up, the walls ended in jagged edges and brilliant sky instead of a stifling ceiling. The stars were stunning, freed from light pollution, the same as they were fourteen years ago on the eve of the fight against the Sixth Angel; a reminder that things weren’t so different, as far as the universe was concerned.

And of course, without the stars so easily accessible, he wouldn’t have gotten the chance to stargaze with Kaworu. He was in the middle of an awkward, fumbling response to Kaworu when he turned to face him and the words died in his throat.

“I really was born to meet you,” Kaworu told him, gaze soft and full of more affection than he thought should be possible. The concrete under them was cool, but Shinji’s body felt completely warm. Especially his face. 

“Kaworu…” Shinji’s voice was faint, terrified his words would crush the gentle atmosphere around them. 

Kaworu closed his eyes contentedly. “We should do this again sometime. It was a lovely date.” 

Shinji’s heart rate spiked dangerously. “Date?!” he said, voice cracking in his shock.

“Sure,” Kaworu said with an easy shrug, unfazed by the outburst. He stood up, ever graceful, and offered Shinji a hand. 

Shinji tried not to shudder at the contact as Kaworu pulled him to his feet. When he let go, Shinji’s hand chased his for a split second before he caught himself and jerked it backwards. Was it possible that Kaworu really was interested in him like that? Could the warmth that fluttered up in his chest whenever he saw him be mutual? Before that night, Shinji had always told himself that it was wishful thinking, but right then his brain was stuck skipping on that first day: the warm presence of Kaworu against his back, the gentle touch of Kaworu’s hand on his wrist. Maybe he’d  _ always _ been interested, and Shinji had denied it all along.

Kaworu watched him curiously. He always seemed to know when Shinji wanted to speak, and he always patiently waited for him to collect his thoughts. Steeling himself, Shinji blurted out, “Can I walk you to your room? It wouldn’t… It wouldn’t be a very good date otherwise.” 

He braced himself for a rejection, but he needn’t have worried. Kaworu only smiled. “Certainly.” 

The walk to Kaworu’s room was silent, leaving plenty of space for Shinji to start to panic. What was he planning to do at the door?  _ Kiss  _ him? He’d never kissed anyone before, let alone a  _ guy, _ let alone a guy as intimidatingly attractive as  _ Kaworu! _

He was jittery with nerves by the time they reached their destination. Kaworu turned his back to the door to face Shinji and smiled at him. “I know I already said this, but thank you for tonight. I really enjoyed myself.” 

Shinji’s fingers tapped restlessly against his arm, gaze flicking between Kaworu and the floor. “Um, no problem. I enjoyed myself, too.” 

Kaworu, again, seemed to sense that there was something more Shinji wanted to say. After a few seconds of silence, he prompted gently, “Shinji?” 

Shinji took a shaky breath. “If I’m taking all of this the wrong way, please forgive me.”

He stepped forward, placing a hand on Kaworu’s shoulder and stretching up on the tips of his toes. He didn’t close his eyes. He just watched, terrified, for Kaworu’s reaction, as he leaned closer, closer, closer...

To Shinji’s amazement, Kaworu’s eyes fluttered shut as he tilted his head to press their lips together. He didn’t pull away  — actually, he was kissing back!  — and a thrill shot through him. Shinji didn’t quite know where to go from there, so after a moment, he pulled away, dazed, and let his heels touch the floor again. 

Kaworu’s face was clouded with an emotion Shinji didn’t understand, and for a moment he started panicking all over again. But then Kaworu leaned forward, hands coming up to rest on his waist, and Shinji’s heart skipped a beat at the realization that Kaworu wanted to kiss him again. Kaworu closed the gap that time, kissing him more deeply than Shinji had kissed him. Shinji’s mind reeled with giddy surprise. 

Kaworu didn’t stop with one kiss. He kept at it, kissing Shinji again and again. Shinji all but melted into him. When Kaworu sucked on his bottom lip, it made him so lightheaded that his fingers twisted into Kaworu’s shirt just to feel grounded again. Kaworu pulled away, just barely, and Shinji’s grip loosened as he tried, and failed, to breathe normally again.

Kaworu laughed softly, air ghosting over Shinji’s lips. “I was hoping you’d do that,” he admitted.

Shinji leaned back to look at him, startled. “You’re kidding.”

He laughed again at Shinji’s expression and shook his head, silver hair swishing across his forehead. “Not at all.” 

A tight, squeezing sensation filled his chest at the knowledge that Kaworu really  _ had _ been thinking about him the same way, wanting to touch him and kiss him and — ! What was Shinji  _ doing, _ wasting precious time just standing there that could be spent kissing the pretty, smiling boy in front of him?

Grabbing at Kaworu’s shirt, Shinji smashed their wet mouths together again, lips parted this time, not knowing what he was doing but caught up in a sudden desire to stick his tongue down Kaworu’s throat. Kaworu’s lips were pliant under his, and his tongue licking against Kaworu’s felt so suddenly intimate and sexual that Shinji groaned into his mouth. He drew back, embarrassed, but Kaworu was staring at him with half-lidded eyes full of unmistakable want. 

“Shinji.” Kaworu reached backward and touched the door handle. “Would you like to come in?” 

The air suddenly felt too hot, almost suffocating. Shinji swallowed. “Yes, please.” 

His heart was pounding as Kaworu let him into a room as empty as his own, with the same exact bed and red floor. At the click of the door closing, nerves shot through him. 

“I’ve — ” he started, flushing in shame, “I’ve never, um. I haven’t — ”

Kaworu gave him a look of understanding and reached out to lace their fingers together. “I want to do whatever you’re comfortable with.”

Shinji nodded, face hot, and let Kaworu lead him to the bed. He sat down with tense shoulders, hands awkwardly resting on his thighs. Kaworu leaned in to kiss his cheek. “Lights on or off?” he murmured in Shinji’s ear, and goosebumps charged down Shinji’s neck. 

“Off,” he managed, voice hoarse. Kaworu slipped away to comply, and Shinji felt the air grow colder in his absence. With the flip of a switch, the room was bathed in darkness. Shinji blinked, eyes straining to adjust. Rather than seeing, he heard and felt Kaworu sit down on the bed next to him. 

Kaworu’s lips found his ear again. “Shinji,” he said softly, sending more goosebumps across his skin. “What do you want?” 

Shinji’s hands clenched in the fabric of his pants. “I — I don’t know.” 

Kaworu’s hand touched his jaw, gently turning his head so that they were facing each other. “How does continuing where we left off sound?” 

Shinji nodded, and then Kaworu’s lips were on his again. Heat flooded through his veins at the touch. How could something so simple feel so overwhelmingly good? He opened his mouth eagerly and felt the tension in his shoulders dissipate as Kaworu’s tongue curled invitingly against his own. He leaned even closer, reaching up to touch. His fingers brushed through fluffy silver hair, and Kaworu made a pleased sound in the back of his throat in response. 

Kaworu broke away from Shinji’s mouth and trailed kisses from the corner of his lips, to his cheek, to the shell of his ear. His hand on Shinji’s jaw gently guided his head to the side, and before Shinji could realize what was happening, Kaworu was kissing his neck. Shinji, his mouth free, could do nothing but breathe raggedly into the quiet darkness of the room. Kaworu’s other hand pulled Shinji’s shirt collar out of the way, and then he bit gently onto a spot just below the DSS choker and sucked. 

A surprised noise escaped Shinji’s mouth. “K-Kaworu!” 

Kaworu immediately pulled his mouth away from Shinji’s neck. “Too much?” he asked, stroking his thumb reassuringly against Shinji’s cheek. 

Shinji took a few deep breaths, trying to slow his racing heart and gather his thoughts. As always, Kaworu waited for him to speak at his own pace. 

“I’m okay,” Shinji said at last. “It was just a lot.”

Kaworu pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “We can stop.” 

Shinji immediately shook his head. “I don’t want to.” 

Kaworu kissed the edge of his jaw. “What  _ do _ you want, then?” he murmured. He didn’t wait for an answer. Instead, he went back to leaving wet kisses down his neck. Shinji bit down on his lip and leaned into the touch. Kaworu took the encouragement, switching from kisses to bites. Shinji was ready for the sensation this time, shuddering under it. When Kaworu sucked a bit more aggressively at one spot, Shinji couldn’t help the whimper that escaped his throat. 

Suddenly overcome with the desire to give Kaworu something as good as he was getting, Shinji threaded his fingers through Kaworu’s hair and gently pulled backwards. Kaworu, of course, let himself be guided back, no doubt thinking Shinji had changed his mind again. He felt a flash of gratitude at Kaworu’s unwavering respect for his wishes. Despite the short time they’d known each other, Shinji  _ trusted _ him. 

The affection bursting in his chest spurred him on. Tilting Kaworu’s head back, Shinji leaned in to return the favor and kiss along his neck. When he reached Kaworu’s ear, he carefully, hesitantly, bit down on his earlobe. His boldness earned him a low groan from Kaworu. Shinji’s fingers tightened involuntarily in his hair at the sound. 

Shinji took a steadying breath, gathering his courage. He could see a little bit in the dark now, but he still moved cautiously, placing his hands on Kaworu’s shoulders for support as he maneuvered his knees on either side of Kaworu’s hips, straddling his lap. Remembering how it had felt for him, Shinji leaned in before he spoke. “I think what I want,” he said softly, lips brushing Kaworu’s ear, “is to hear you make that sound again.” 

Kaworu shivered under him.  _ “Shinji,” _ he breathed, voice strained. 

It hit Shinji like a punch to the gut that  _ he _ was the cause of this crack in Kaworu’s composure. A flood of emotions washed over him, too many for him to parse, so he settled on the most overwhelming one  — a hungry, nearly desperate  _ want. _

He dug his fingers into Kaworu’s shirt and dragged him in for a messy, open-mouthed kiss. Experimentally, he captured Kaworu’s tongue in his lips and sucked. Kaworu made a small, surprised noise that turned into another moan. His hands went to Shinji’s thighs, and the heat that shot up Shinji’s legs at the touch made him realize for the first time how very, very hard he was. 

_ “Shit,” _ Shinji gasped in between their increasingly sloppy kisses. 

Kaworu seemed to understand, because he grabbed him by the hips and pulled him closer. Shinji let out a startled cry as his aching dick pressed up against something else hot and hard, and Kaworu’s hands digging sharply into his hipbones told him that he wasn’t alone in the sensation.

Shinji rolled his hips, grinding them against each other again, and Kaworu’s head dropped down onto his shoulder with a choked sound. Shinji kept moving, rocking back and forth, each successive movement fueling the growing tension in his lower body. He couldn’t help making little breathy whimpers, but Kaworu was making his own desperate sounds, too. 

One particularly good snap of his hips sent Shinji’s mind reeling. He was getting close. Stilling, breathing hard, he was seized with a sudden need for more. Kaworu was over-dressed for what he had in mind, so he got to work clumsily undoing his shirt buttons. 

Kaworu batted his hands away, and Shinji drew back, an apology on his lips, but Kaworu was just finishing the job for him much more quickly. Shinji carefully eased the wrinkled white shirt off his shoulders. Then, he slipped his hands under the purple T-shirt underneath, feeling a thrill at the touch of his fingers against Kaworu’s bare skin, and slowly lifted it up over his head. Kaworu’s torso was as pale, lean, and beautiful as the rest of him, and Shinji hesitantly laid a hand on his chest. Kaworu’s breath hitched at the contact, and Shinji’s eyes darted up to meet his. 

Kaworu’s face was flushed, his breathing a little heavy, his eyes darker than usual. But his gaze was so distant and dazed that Shinji faltered. He lifted his hands up to brush Kaworu’s hair out of his eyes and leaned forward, searching his face. “Kaworu?” he said softly, uncertain.

Kaworu’s eyes refocused on him, and to Shinji’s surprise they looked a little wet. “Ah, sorry, Shinji,” he said faintly, stroking his thumbs along Shinji’s hips. “I got lost in thought.”

Shinji squeezed Kaworu’s bare shoulders and found himself echoing what Kaworu had said before. “We can stop. I don’t want to if you’re not, you know — ” He cast about for the right word. “Present.” 

Kaworu leaned in to press their lips together. “You’re very sweet. Forgive me, Shinji. I’m here, now.” As if to prove his point, he rolled their bodies together again, pulling down on Shinji’s hips, and Shinji couldn’t help but exhale harshly at the sensation. 

“Then, can I…” Shinji’s face flushed. He couldn’t bring himself to say it, but Kaworu just kissed the underside of his jaw, waiting patiently. 

When it became clear that Shinji was paralyzed in embarrassment, Kaworu dragged his lips back up to Shinji’s. Pulling away enough to meet his eyes, he asked, “How do you want me?” 

Shinji shivered at the words, convinced for a second that he must be dreaming because how was it possible for someone to be so  _ hot _ and interested in  _ him _ of all people? He climbed off Kaworu and pushed on his shoulders. “Can you lie down? I want to... make you feel good,” he finally managed to say. Giving Kaworu a blowjob was much easier done than said, apparently.

Kaworu pulled himself up the bed and settled down. Shinji, feeling hopelessly un-sexy but determined, crawled over his legs and started undoing Kaworu’s pants. Even though he’d just been grinding against it, feeling Kaworu’s erection pressing against the fabric under his hands was something new and special. Kaworu was like this because of  _ him. _

That knowledge filled him with enough confidence to take off Kaworu’s pants. He’d planned to touch Kaworu through his underwear until he’d built up the nerve, but the second he touched him, a pretty little whine came out of Kaworu’s mouth and Shinji had nerve in spades. He pulled them off, too, leaving him face to face with Kaworu’s dick. 

He couldn’t see it in intimate detail in the dark, and of course he’d seen dicks before  — first of all, there was his own, not to mention changing for PE at school, not to  _ mention _ what he’d seen in porn  — but somehow he still felt woefully unprepared to confront a real-life dick attached to a real-life hot person who wanted to have sex with him. It was already hard, standing at attention, waiting for his touch. 

_ You’ve watched porn, _ he scolded himself.  _ Just do what they do. _

Swallowing nervously, he took Kaworu’s cock into his hands, leaned in, and gave its head a cautious lick. Kaworu hummed and relaxed into the bed. Taking it as encouragement, Shinji licked him again, and again, longer, broader, trying to taste every part of him, from his balls to his leaking tip. Kaworu’s deepening breaths and the way his fingers dug into the sheets spurred Shinji on. 

Bracing himself, he parted his lips and took Kaworu into his mouth. Kaworu exhaled roughly.  _ Do it like porn, _ he reminded himself, and he descended on Kaworu’s cock. And choked instantly. 

He pulled off with a cough, mouth salivating and cheeks flushing in shame. Kaworu reached down to stroke his hair. “Don’t overdo it,” he said gently, “and please stop if you’re uncomfortable.” 

Shinji flushed harder, affection joining the embarrassment. “I’m fine,” he promised, and then slipped his lips around him again.

It took some experimenting and a little more gagging before he figured out a rhythm of sorts, each duck of his head eliciting low moans from Kaworu. The power trip of getting the always-collected Kaworu to react like this was driving Shinji crazy, his own arousal digging into the bed harder and harder, distracting him. 

Eventually Kaworu’s hand in his hair tugged softly. “Shinji, come here,” he said, voice lower than Shinji had ever heard it. 

Shinji released his dick and crawled up to meet Kaworu in an eager kiss. His mouth was overly wet but Kaworu didn’t seem to mind, dragging his fingers through Shinji’s hair and biting at his lips. 

Kaworu broke the kiss to take hold of Shinji’s highest shirt button. He stared up at him, his red eyes dark. “May I?” 

Shinji could feel heat radiating off his face. Kaworu  _ was _ completely naked; it was only fair. He swallowed and nodded. 

Kaworu’s fingers proved his skill at the piano by deftly unbuttoning their way down Shinji’s front like it was nothing. It really turned him on  — and was he going to think of Kaworu undressing him every time they played together from now on? He didn’t know if he wanted that or not  — and then Kaworu was sitting up and Shinji was half in his lap, grateful that the darkness hid how red he must be. 

He let Kaworu drag off his shirts, both over- and under-, and could barely even remember to feel self-conscious about the fact that he was topless next to someone as pretty as Kaworu because then Kaworu was groping him through his pants and his brain turned to mush. 

“Can I take these off, too?” Kaworu asked, and Shinji couldn’t believe how stupid a question that was, so he just kissed Kaworu and started undoing his belt himself as an answer. 

Kaworu sat up even more and manhandled him backwards onto the bed. It was so swift and smooth that Shinji yelped in surprise. Kaworu let out a soft laugh at his reaction and kissed him in apology before yanking off his pants and underwear. He pressed their naked bodies together and Shinji felt at once overwhelmed by the intimacy. He couldn’t help whimpering. 

Kaworu mouthed at his neck, sucking and kissing all around the DSS choker. He stroked a gentle finger along its edge. “I wish I could get you out of this, as well,” he murmured. 

Shinji really, really,  _ really _ didn’t want to think about the bomb permanently strapped to his neck right then, or  _ ever, _ really, so he nuzzled against Kaworu until he relented and kissed Shinji’s lips again.

If making out with Kaworu was good, then making out with Kaworu in the nude was unbelievable. Literally, because Shinji couldn’t quite believe it was happening. It had been what, an hour or two since they were stargazing? And, somehow, he’d wound up in Kaworu’s bed. Kaworu seemed content to kiss him and slide their bodies together, and Shinji would definitely come after enough of that, but he wanted  _ more. _

Kaworu knew, without Shinji having to say anything. “Can I touch you?” he breathed against his ear, and the chill of goosebumps down his spine was as strong as it had been the first time.

“You can do whatever you want to me,” Shinji said hoarsely, too busy drowning in the sensations of sex and Kaworu to feel ashamed anymore. 

Kaworu groaned in the back of his throat. “I don’t think you understand what you’re doing to me, Shinji,” he said, dragging his lips down Shinji’s neck. “Saying those things…”

Shinji could only whine Kaworu’s name as he bit, sucked, and licked his way down Shinji’s chest, stomach, hips, before sucking his cock into his mouth. Kaworu hummed in satisfaction, and the soft buzz of it around him drew a strained gasp from Shinji’s throat. His hands fisted in the sheets and his back arched and there was no way he’d made Kaworu feel  _ this _ good when he’d been the one doing the blowing. 

Kaworu was amazing at it, Shinji decided, because the warm pressure of his mouth certainly  _ felt _ amazing. Kaworu didn’t seem to have a gag reflex at all, taking all of him with no effort, maintaining a steady pace. His hands were touching him, too, everywhere: Kaworu petted and caressed wherever he wasn’t sucking. Shinji was absolutely overloaded, his breaths strangled. 

When his core tensed and his hips started giving tiny jerks all on their own, he realized he should say something. “Kaworu, I’m — ” he broke off, embarrassed all over again. 

Kaworu pulled off to smile, lips wet and glistening in the dark. “You’re okay, Shinji. Let it happen.” 

He got his mouth around Shinji again, those damn fingers rubbing and pressing and squeezing and it was  _ too good. _ The tension throughout his body crested and crashed and he came, gasping, then sagged in relief. 

He’d barely had a chance to catch his breath before Kaworu slung his arms around him, nuzzling into him and kissing him languidly, and he tasted like Shinji’s cum but how could he complain after  _ that? _

Shinji reached down to take hold of Kaworu’s cock and he practically purred against Shinji’s lips, meeting his gaze with sparks in his eyes. “You don’t have to, Shinji,” he said, despite the low and husky tone of his voice and the way his hips were stuttering into Shinji’s hand already. 

“I want to, Kaworu,” Shinji insisted, determined to get Kaworu off. His sexual experience might amount to, well,  _ tonight _ and nothing else, but he was pretty sure that his expertise with his own dick would transfer over. 

Shinji rolled them over so that Kaworu was on his back and Shinji was clinging to him from the side, licked the palm of his hand, and then got to work. At this angle, he could just jerk Kaworu off like he did himself. 

Up close in the dark, it was easier to see Kaworu’s reactions to what he was doing, and what he saw was enough for his dick to weakly ache all over again. Kaworu was beautiful, his face twisting in pleasure, lips parting in gasps and moans, head tossed back and silver hair mussed, body writhing on the bed  _ under Shinji’s hand. _

Kaworu looked up at him, eyes lidded and unfocused, and Shinji could only dumbly think  _ Pretty! _ before Kaworu pulled him in for a fierce kiss. “Faster, please,” he said breathlessly, and Shinji was rewarded with more ache-inducing cries when he increased the pace of his hand. It was only moments before Kaworu came, moaning Shinji’s name as he did. 

He pressed his lips to Shinji’s forehead and cheeks and nose and lips, kissing him again and again. Once he managed to pry his face off Shinji, he used a corner of the bedsheets to clean them off and then wrapped his arms around him in a snuggly embrace. Shinji relaxed against him, warm and satisfied, and had just started lightly dozing when Kaworu startled him back to consciousness by asking, “Are you happy?” 

That would have been a difficult question to answer, usually. But right then? Touched, Shinji couldn’t help but kiss him. “Yeah,” he said, voice a little thick. “I’m happy.” 

Kaworu’s gaze was gentle. “Good. I’m glad.” He started rubbing small circles into Shinji’s back. 

“No one’s ever held me like this,” Shinji realized, and he knew he should be embarrassed for admitting it, but this was  _ Kaworu. _ “It’s... nice.”  _ What an understatement. _

Kaworu pulled him against his chest and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. Shinji inhaled the smell of him, feeling safe and understood, and suddenly had the distinct feeling of standing on the edge of a precipice. Something huge and terrible was settling in his chest, something with the power to crush him into little bits. It was childish, it was honest, it was soft, it was horrible. He couldn’t tell Kaworu, though. Just the  _ thought _ of saying it made him nearly panic. He couldn’t  _ possibly _ _ — _

“I love you, Shinji,” Kaworu confessed into his hair. 

Shinji choked on his own breath. 

The seconds stretched on. Kaworu didn’t stop stroking his back. The room was silent except for Shinji’s heart pounding in his ears. 

“You’re lying,” he finally whispered. 

“Never,” Kaworu said, somehow managing to sound gentle and fierce all at once.

Shinji made a sound that was half a laugh, half a sob. “You’re  _ crazy.” _ He finally drew back to look at him. 

Kaworu smiled and caressed Shinji’s cheek. “Maybe. But I still love you.” 

Shinji grabbed Kaworu’s hand on his face. “I love you, too,” he said in a rush, before he lost his nerve, before Kaworu could change his mind and take it back. As soon as he said it, he knew it was true: a fundamental law of the universe.

A strange expression crossed Kaworu’s face, that same faraway look. It was as confusing as it had been earlier  — joy and pain and longing all at once, and did Shinji imagine it or did Kaworu’s gaze flicker down, lingering on his neck? But then it was smoothed over, dazzling smile in its place, and Kaworu kissed Shinji and didn’t stop until they fell asleep.


End file.
